It's a Pretty Cake, But Do I HAVE To Eat It?

It's a Pretty Cake, But Do I HAVE To Eat It?

Cake.

The Band.

Walked into somewhere recently and was reminded how much of a love-hate relationship I have with these guys. Musically, tight as hell, but with such a toxic degree of hipster cynicism that it’s no surprise I haven’t listened to them in years.

The first song I’d ever heard was “Frank Sinatra” – and for those of you familiar with Peter Murphy’s solo career, at first I wondered if he had a new album out (I recall this being shortly before he actually did release a new solo album, but…)

Shortly after I heard “The Distance” and, having bought the album, really did enjoy their droll delivery of “I Will Survive.”

But “The Distance” gives the game away, in retrospect. The story of a race driver with a degree of one-itis, who sacrificed his relationship for his mission, racing, while leaving her alone in “her time of need” – and she just wants to forget him.

Ultimately, it’s just sad.

And looking back, despite the tight and interesting mashup of styles, love their basslines, the songs are beta as hell – worse than your average country song. Some are just bitter, a couple verge on red pill, if only just, but most are just… needy, and “Short Skirt, Long Jacket” is so feminist grrrl power that I’m neither surprised it was used as the intro song for the TV show Chuck,  nor would I be surprised to discover the writer has some ugly skeletons in his closet regarding his treatment of women.

I want a girl with A mind like a diamond 
I want a girl who Knows what's best 
I want a girl with Shoes that cut 
And eyes that burn Like cigarettes 
I want a girl with The right allocations 
Who's fast and thorough And sharp as a tack 
She's playing With her jewellery 
She's putting up her hair 
She's touring the facilities 
And picking up slack 
I want a girl with a short skirt And a long jacket 

I want a girl who Gets up early 
I want a girl who Stays up late 
I want a girl with Uninterupted prosperity 
Who used a machete To cut through red tape 
With fingernails that Shine like justice 
And a voice that is dark Like tinted glass 
She is fast and thorough 
And sharp as a tack 
She's touring the facilities 
And picking up slack 
I want a girl with a short skirt And a long, long jacket 

I want a girl with A smooth liquidation 
I want a girl with The right dividends 
And at the city bank We will meet accidentally 
We'll start to talk when She borrows my pen 
She wants a car with A cupholder arm rest 
She wants a car That will get her there 
She's changing her name From Kitty to Karen 
She's trading her mg for A white Chrystler Laberon 
I want a girl with a short skirt And a long jacket

And so, despite briefly taking some time to enjoy the musicianship of a few songs I hadn’t listened to in a while, I put the discs back away. Maybe Goodwill will have a use for them.

About Last Redoubt

Ex nuke mechanic, jack of all trades.